FADE IN:
INT. GRANADA OFFICES, BULL-PIN - DAY
LAWRENCE and HILARY stand in the "Bull-pin." An open space
full of cublicles.
KIDS around his age run around, moving paper to and fro in
fast-motion as they speak.
HILARY
Why are we at work again? You
hate work. If you're going to
write, write us somewhere else.
So you don't have to think about
it.
LAWRENCE
We're just starting here. We're
not going to stay. I have to
make a point.
Lawrence draws a samurai sword from his belt.
HILARY
Okay.
KRYSTAL (26) rushes around carrying P.O.s.
MISTY (22) chases after her with a box full of office
supplies.
LAWRENCE
Maybe I'm being unrealistic about
all of this. But I think that
might be exactly what's needed.
AMY (31) scampers past, folder in hand. PATRICE (50's)
signs invoice after invoice in a stack.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
Remember that quiz from tip six?
HILARY
Yeah, whatever--
LAWRENCE
I want you to read the statements
again, right now.
ANDY (20's) enters the front door carrying a huge box.
Everything slows down to normal speed.
Lawrence raise his sword.
LAWRENCE
Ready?
Hilary gulps. Holds a copy of her last email in front of
her.
LAWRENCE
Go!
HILARY
(rapid-fire)
I am always curious about the
world.
LAWRENCE
Five.
HILARY
I am easily bored.
LAWRENCE
One.
HILARY
I am thrilled when I learn
something new.
LAWRENCE
Five.
Andy trips. Everything slows down as beta tapes fly out of
his box.
Lawrence jumps into the air. Matrix style.
HILARY
My life has a strong purpose.
Lawrence slices open FIVE tapes.
HILARY
No matter what the social
situation, I am able to fit in.
Lawrence turns to the wall and slices the figure for ONE.
Wind starts to blow feircely indoors.
Lawrence turns back towards Hilary. No sword. Now he
looks like a wizard.
LAWRENCE
You skipped step number five,
Hilary. You skipped step five in
your Ten Quick Steps to Meaning
and Fulfillment.
HILARY
I did?
LAWRENCE
I've been thinking about step
five for a few hours now.
HILARY
I just misnumbered. Tip eleven
can be--
Hilary becomes a bird on Lawrence's shoulder.
LAWRENCE
I'm going to teach you a lesson
about writing. About the power
of words. You believe I'm
apathetic because I don't believe
in words. You miss my point.
I'm going to show you words. In
the only way I can.
Dramatically. Now READ!
HILARY
(frieghtened, shouting)
I sometimes make poor choices in
friendships and relationships.
Lawrence shoots FIVE magic missles at his coworkers. They
explode in fireballs, their bones smolder.
HILARY
I tend to make snap judgments.
Lawrence pulls ONE door from the wall and flings it into
the opposing wall, pulverizing it.
The wind is blinding now. Granada EMPLOYEES paper and
office furniture swirl all over the place.
The building is coming apart at the seams.
HILARY
I am rarely as excited about the
good fortune of others as I am
about my own.
Lawrence catches one of the EMPLOYEES, PATRICK (34), cross
eyed, wearing a hawaiian shirt.
Patrick becomes ONE arrow of pure light that Lawrence
shoots into outer space.
HILARY
I hesitate to sacrifice my self
interest for the benefit of
groups I am in.
Lawrence conjures ONE giant sun between his outstretched
arms. It grows to fill his feild of vision.
Hilary-bird hides in the folds of Lawrence's cloak. Then
peaks out.
LAWRENCE
Keep going!
HILARY
I have taken frequent stands in
the face of strong opposition.
Lawrence blasts off through the roof, into the sky. Flies
as far and fast as he can.
EXT. SKY ABOVE MANHATTAN - DAY
Zooming upwards, he drops the sun on the building below.
The explosion is silent. Everything is silent as the
supernova begins.
The building becomes bright white, stone melting.
They zoom upwards.
A nuclear explosion, disintegrates the building and its
surroundings.
The blast grows, melting stone and steel in all directions.
From their vantage Lawrence and Hilary can see all five
boroughs.
The explosion over takes the island, expanding to the
rivers.
Colomns of irradiated steam and ash shoot into the sky
which churns with thunder and lighting.
The fury of a thousand Gods!
LAWRENCE
(screaming)
This is the power of words! And
my power is infinite as their
weilder! I am a God here! I
will destroy this world and
everyone in it!
The mushroom cloud looms black and evil below them. It
blankets the entire city of New York.
Soon it disipates, taken by the incredible winds.
Leaves a blackened charred open mouth where the Hudson used
to break the land into islands.
There is only hellfire now. There is only distruction.
Lawrence and Hilary become their usual forms.
They fall to the surface of the Earth.
LAWRENCE
(falling)
Words are spoken and then they
are gone. They crack open the
planet and expose mantel, expose
core. With a word, God created
the heavens and the Earth.
Separated light from darkness.
Created first life and destroyed
it with awe.
EXT. SURFACE - DAY
They land in the center of the steaming crater. Nothing
lives. Bright orange metal and rock glow all around them.
The sky is alive with gamma coloring, aurora boreali.
A million silent lightning storms. Green, blue, purple,
bright red.
The moon is a wide and devish eyeball.
Lawrence and Hilary are silent as they take everything in.
LAWRENCE
But here's the thing about God.
He has only words. He never once
takes real action.
(beat)
God is the word is nothing.
AMY suddenly appears at her desk next to Lawrence.
AMY
I swear, this cash-flow is going
to be the end of me! Why is
everyone so fucking stupid?
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM, GRANADA OFFICES - DAY
Lawrence snaps out of his fantasy. Looks at his half
finished email script on the screen.
The cursor is blinking next to the heading. "Step #5..."
He turns to Amy.
LAWRENCE
I quit.
AMY
(shocked)
What?!
LAWRENCE
(screams)
I
(pauses for effect)
QQQQQUUUUUIIIIIITTTTT!
Lawrence starts to float out of his chair. For real this
time. He's floating.
AMY
You can't quit! You asshole! I
need you! God dammit! You don't
have any money, you'll starve!
You'll be homeless!
Lawrence floats past his desk, out of the office.
Amy runs after. Jumps to grab him. Can't reach.
INT. GRANADA OFFICES, BULL PIN - DAY
Amy's red faced and yelling. But he can't hear her.
At that moment he's too happy to hear anything except
music. Something swinging.
He floats right out the front door, down the elevator.
EXT. 4TH STREET, NEAR THE PARK - DAY
Lawrence licks at a chocolate ice-cream cone. Wears his
John Lennon glasses. Smiling.
Pulls paper and a pen from his pocket. Writes something
quickly.
Licks the back. Sticks it to a lamp post with his sticky
sweet saliva.
CLOSE ON The Note. It reads:
5th Quick Step to Meaning and Fulfillment.
QUIT YOUR JOB!
Hilary, I wrote two fantasies in this script.
One of them actually happened in real life.
ACTION IS GOD. WORDS ARE MEANINGLESS.
So it begins.
Lawrence walks off to meet his friend in the park. They
must discuss what he is going to to do with the rest of his
life.
FADE TO BLACK:
Monday, September 20, 2004
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