EXT. PIZZA SHOP - NIGHT
Someone is shooting a film outside Apollo's Pizza. Half
a dozen people run around making difficult decisions.
The other half stand in close circles and smoke.
20 feet from the camera, Cecily rehearses in a big coat
with WADE (20's) bearded and ineffectual. They run
lines.
Lawrence 20 feet from the camera in the other direction,
twists a sound cord around a boom pole.
Lawrence sneaks glances at Cecily. She now talks to a
terribly dorky and overweight man, RICHARD (30's).
She quickly stamps out her cigarette, takes off her
jacket and moves in front of the camera.
Lawrence walks to the camera too, holding his pole. He
watches Richard and Cecily interact.
RICHARD
So it's mostly just you trying to stop
him from coming in. Like he fucked up
and you want to yell at him.
CECILY
So should it be really angry. Or more
diplomatic.
RICHARD
Try it really angry. Angry is sexy. I
like that.
Lawrence plugs in the microphone and faces it at the
actors. One of whom is his girlfriend.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I am made out of a few things. Water,
carbon and insecurity. I don't think I
can change my molecular makeup.
RICHARD
And action.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
Especially when I don't even know what
I'm supposed to be insecure about.
Cecily and Wade perform the scene. Wade walks up to
Cecily and she yells at him. He makes a lude comment,
the director yells.
RICHARD
Cut!
This happens over and over. Lawrence watches. Lawrence
follows along.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
When she first auditioned for the role I
was upset. I wasn't excited for her. I
went with her and sat outside while she
went in and read.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - DAY
Lawrence sits out the closed door of a conference room.
He reads the Sides stacked on a chair beside him.
He tries to follow along with what's being performed on
the other side of the door. But he can't read fast
enough, and he can't really hear it anyway.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I was upset because of the overall
shittiness of the material. It didn't
move me. I could go on, but mostly it
was just a bad script.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Lawrence walks back to the car, with a shity look on his
face. Gets in. Opens his laptop.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I was going to write something better,
right then and there. Something with
real human worth. Something where the
women character's were not just men with
breasts that took the kind of verbal
abuse that a real woman never would.
But...
Cecily walks out of the Hotel doors. Lights a cigarette.
Smiles.
LAWRENCE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
But I didn't have time.
INT. APAREMENT - NIGHT
Lawrence types.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
But what was I really reacting to? I
mean, was I really going to change the
way I wrote to not include lewd behavior,
or sexually explicit material or
activities? It's like some paternal
instinct kicked in and affected my taste
in art. Like I was raising a child and
wanted to protect her against everything
that was ugly and evil and out to destroy
her. And the crazy thing is, it did
affect the way I watched and wrote and
thought about movies after that.
INT. CECILY'S MOM'S HOUSE - DAY
Lawrence and SARAH (40's) stand in the kitchen. Cecily
is outside, on the phone.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
So when she got the part. I wanted to
feel happy for her.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
(to Sarah)
I really need to start acting more
excited about her getting this role. I
just can't seem to make myself get
excited.
Sarah doesn't know what to say to that.
SARAH
Why?
LAWRENCE
I just don't like the script. There's
never any respectable roles for women.
They're all sex objects to some
undersexed writer. They have no depth.
They're ornamental.
Cecily walks in.
CECILY
(grinning)
I got it!
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I was never sure what it was. I could
have my opinions about the script. Did I
really care what the movie was?
She did it. She's done something that
we'd only talked about in theory a year
ago. Something she'd only dreamed of
happening when she was busy putting it
off all those years. Who gives a shit
what it was, right?
Lawrence hugs her. Trying his best to put on a happy
face.
INT. APARMENT - NIGHT
Lawrence sits awake. It's late and he's smoking and
writing. In the other room, she sleeps.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
And I am supposedly the catalyst for this
career change. I'm the one who believed
in her before I ever really knew her.
(pause)
I'm sure what I think means a shit load.
But this is just the first role. I've
never dated an actress before. There's
bigger insecurities ahead.
(pause)
She's going to be in stuff where she's
going to kiss other people. She's going
to have to make decisions about using her
sexuality to sell movie tickets.
Lawrence stops writing. Turns on the TV and puts in
"Chaplin" starring Robert Downey Jr.
The TV flickers and goes out. Lawrence turns on the
light. Fucks with the set and the player.
ROBERT DOWNEY JR. (30's) walks out of the kitchen.
ROBERT
You know you're going to have to get over
this bull shit, right?
LAWRENCE
Robert Downey Jr.?
Robert Downey Jr. sits down on Lawrence's newly aquired
couch. Sub sandwich in hand. Mows down on it.
ROBERT
Yeah. It's me. Just, stop fucking with
the TV and talk to me about this for a
second.
LAWRENCE
About what? Are you eatting my sandwich?
ROBERT
Your girlfriend. The actress.
Lawrence slowly walks over and sits in the easy chair.
LAWRENCE
Okay.
ROBERT
It's simple. I mean, from an outsiders
perspective it's all about conscious
realization of your own lack of control.
Someone's got to tell you. I'll tell you
cause I'm here.
LAWRENCE
Robert...Mr. Downey Jr. I don't think
there's anything I can do about this. I
mean, she's going to get a part, one day,
that will require her to kiss someone
else.
ROBERT
I know. Crazy fucking profession,
performance. No other in the world where
making out is part of the job
description.
LAWRENCE
Except.
ROBERT
Except one. Yes yes. Fine fine. We're
thinking the same thing. I'm not
actually Robert Downey Jr. I'm just you.
But... I...Am. Able to help. Let me
help.
LAWRENCE
The way I see it. I've got two avenues.
Either I tell her to never act with
kissing. Which will lead to her not
acting, or I break up with her and date a
girl who doesn't have this problem.
ROBERT
Fuck.
Lawrence waits.
ROBERT (CONT'D)
Is this white bread? I can't have white
bread. It's on the don't-list.
He puts down the sandwich. Pulls out a small zip kit.
ROBERT (CONT'D)
Okay, no, there's a third. Get over it.
Let me tell you something about being an
actor. Wait, have you acted in anything?
LAWRENCE
No.
ROBERT
Okay, then you should hear this. It's
really...um, easy to grasp when...once
you've done it. Been on the other side.
Robert Downey Jr. pulls out a bag of coke, a small
mirror, a short straw and a thick razor blade.
ROBERT (CONT'D)
Do one?
LAWRENCE
Uh, sure.
ROBERT
Okay. Simple. One two three. When you
kiss someone in a movie. It's always
weird. I know I can say that and
whatever, you don't believe it but
imagine this. You see this pretty girl
at work. What do you do?
LAWRENCE
Web pages, from home.
ROBERT
Oh, well...in a coffee shop. Someone
approaches you and says, I'll let you be
who you want to be if you kiss this cute
girl. You do it right?
Robert snorts a line. Then another. Hands the straw to
Lawrence.
LAWRENCE
I don't know. I mean, that's really
vague.
ROBERT
Not the point. Not the point.
LAWRENCE
Okay fine, I do it.
ROBERT
You've kissed girls then right?
Lawrence looks at him like he's high. Does half a line.
ROBERT (CONT'D)
Right. Well the first kiss is stupid and
shity usually and guess what. If it's
with someone you're not even interested
in, and believe me, if you talked to the
cute girl in the coffee shop you wouldn't
be. She's trite and snide and not your
type. Now multiply that by guy-actor and
you'll see exactly how interested your
girlfriend's gonna be. So you have to do
it a few times to get it to look good for
the person who asked you to do it, but
the whole time you're not even thinking
about, like, this girl, you're thinking
about the opportunity to be doing what
you've always wanted to do. I don't
know. I lost my train of thought with
the analogy. But you understand. It
sucks kissing someone you aren't
attracted to. Especially if you know
them and know what a creep they are.
Lawrence does another line.
LAWRENCE
Yeah but then why does the creep get to
kiss my sweet girlfriend?
ROBERT
Cause he got the part man.
LAWRENCE
Yeah but she's mine. He doesn't
deserve...
ROBERT
Oh ooohhh! She's yours, well, I didn't
realize.
He starts to put his kit away, cleans the mirror with a
finger and rubs it on his gums.
LAWRENCE
You know what I mean... He shouldn't.
ROBERT
No, I don't. She's hers. Yeah, fun and
games. People are possessive. You're
possessive. But she's hers. And she
wants to be with you and that's saying a
lot...about you.
Robert Downey Jr. gets up to walk out.
LAWRENCE
But wait! You're the only actor I know.
I need to ask you more questions.
ROBERT
(sighs, sits)
Fine. What?
LAWRENCE
What if I just went and kissed someone
every time she kissed someone on screen.
That might make me feel better.
ROBERT
Would it be someone you wanted to kiss?
LAWRENCE
Yeah, I donno.
ROBERT
Then it's not the same. You have to kiss
who the director chooses. And now you
have to kiss them or you're fired. Again
and again until the director says it's
cool. And she can be anybody. Even me.
You could have to kiss a boy.
LAWRENCE
Jesus. Fine, bad idea.
ROBERT
Welcome to acting, asshole! Take a seat.
You're better off trying to write that
script with the real human whatever. We
need more of those. We meaning the
humans. Because whatever film is now,
it's not as important as you and Cecily
think it is. And no one thinks so.
No one takes it seriously and no one
cares as much as the poor distraught kid
sitting up at one in the morning writing
about his insecurities.
Robert Downey Jr. turns to leave.
ROBERT (CONT'D)
And another thing. This is pivotal.
Whatever she does. Now listen. Whatever
roles and script and material she gets
excited about. Be excited with her.
Like here, in your heart. Because she's
a smart girl and she knows when a scene
is bull shit. But you saw what she did
this weekend. With all that garbage and
who she had to work with. She brought
respect to her character. And that's a
fucking talent. If the writer can't do
it, she will. So respect her. Don't make
her feel bad. No one deserves to feel
bad for doing what they've always wanted
to do.
He leaves. Lawrence thinks.
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Lawrence walks into the dark bedroom. Cecily sleeps.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
We had this fight, before I came out here
and has this conversation with Robert
Downey Jr. of all people. It wasn't a
fight, because a fight involves two
people who don't understand each other.
She understood perfectly. I just wanted
to feel sorry for myself. I just wanted
to make her feel sorry for me. Maybe.
Maybe I just felt like getting it off my
chest.
He crawls into bed. Snuggles up to her. She makes a
little sound.
He kisses her back and buries his nose between her
shoulder blades.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
Didn't help.
FADE TO BLACK:
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Lawrence sits on the floor. His video camera is set up.
He opens his laptop. Presses record on the camera.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
The day I was to find out about the
screenplay competition results, that was
Friday. I almost lost you on a Friday.
Our landlord came over in the morning.
The e-mail remains to be opened. It's from American Gems.
INT. APARTMENT - MORNING
Lawrence opens the door to TODD (33), a dumpy overweight,
waste of his mother's placenta.
TODD
Hey man. Brought some rat traps.
Lawrence walks off.
TODD (CONT'D)
Mind if I bring my dog in?
Todd's yippie little mongrel dog scuffles in under their
feet.
LAWRENCE
I can't believe I had to put pants on for
this.
TODD
I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. Was that
a 'no?'
LAWRENCE
Yeah, I don't care.
Lawrence returns to work. His work is making web pages.
Not writing.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
I have a problem with my girlfriend. She
never lets me freak out on people.
Sometimes people need freaking out on.
Like this guy. My landlord. He runs the
buildings his parents own.
Todd pops in.
TODD
Hey there Lawrence. Have you ever used a
rat trap? Do you know how to set them?
Lawrence gets up and walks into the kitchen.
INT. CAR - DAY
Cecily drives her cute little Honda Civic hatchback up a
crowded rainy highway 101.
She's got the wipers going and she's listening to her
iPod pumped through the car.
She rounds a bend, where the left 2 lanes of the highway
exit to another highway I-5.
Suddenly her back tires hydroplane. She slams on the
brakes. Her car slides into the left cement rail at full
speed.
The impact sends Cecily forward. Her seat belt neck
strap stops her from slamming into the wheel.
She only grunts, and grips the seat with her hands as the
car bounces off the rail and flies across 2 lanes of
traffic to the other railing.
Cars behind her slow down and swerve around her.
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Cecily and Lawrence sit up in bed talking.
CECILY
The cop asked me: Did everything slow
down? And it did. It was like I could
observe everything happening, but
couldn't react to it. And I thought to
myself. Am I going to die? Am I?
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
The Red Honda Civic slams into the other railing. This
one, metal.
The air bag deploys but never touches Cecily's face.
She's gripped tight with ever inch of her body to her
seat.
INT. CAR - DAY
The car has stopped.
Cecily breathes. Harder than she ever has in her life.
And the rain falls and the car relaxes off the bent
railing.
INT. HIGHWAY - DAY
Lawrence drives Cecily's old car. The Blue Toyota Camry
up from Oregon. Cecily sits in the passenger seat.
Lawrence gets a call. It's his boss at his job.
The phone blink low battery and then turns off before he
can answer it.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
What we have to do today, by Lawrence
Gewillickers. Go back to the impound
lot, get Cecily's stuff out of her car.
Shopping, grocery shopping as well as
look for a couch. I need a firewire
cable too--
We PAN to Cecily. Her Voice-over overlaps Lawrence's and
back and forth.
CECILY (V.O.)
I've got acting class tonight. I need to
eat something. Fred Meyer for some of
the groceries. The Co-op for the rest.
I need yogurt, and soy creamer and--
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
Someday we're going to pay that parking
ticket from three weeks ago. I wonder if
Cecily's really going to court for the
ticket she got for the accident. I'm
glad I took back that video before we
left for Oregon--
CECILY (V.O.)
I'm broke until tonight so Lawrence will
have to buy everything and I can pay him
back, I hope he's not too pissed. I'm
getting a cold sore. I really hate this.
Why can't I be normal and look normal for
the shoot this weekend--
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I wonder what my boss wants. Probably
going to fire me or make me work more. I
hope I can call him before I have to run
all those errands--
CECILY (V.O.)
I've got to get out of this being broke
and asking for money cycle. I'd almost
rather be broke all the time--
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I feel broke. All the time. And that
fucking screenplay festival will never, I
swear to God, never decide the top ten--
CECILY (V.O.)
I hope we can run those errands before I
have to leave--
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I hope I don't get a cold sore from her--
CECILY (V.O.)
Got why must everything be so--
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
--fucking difficult all the time?
The couple drives in silence.
INT. GOODWILL - DAY
Lawrence and Cecily look at the couches.
LAWRENCE
This is my idea of what hell must be
like.
CECILY
What? Goodwill?
LAWRENCE
It also reminds me acutely of my
childhood.
CECILY
Baby, shhh. Which one.
Lawrence looks at the couches. They're all crap.
Different levels of crap.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
We don't have a couch. We sit on one
easy chair together and watch TV.
Sometimes our hip bones or arms get in
the way. Body parts fall asleep.
Lawrence sits on a couch that looks like it's been in a
crack-house for a few years.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
I don't know. This one looks okay. I
mean, it's not very comfortable. And
we'd have to put a cover over it but.
He looks up. He's a lost dog. Cecily sees his face.
CECILY
It kind looks like it's been in a meth
house for a couple years. Okay, but this
sectional is cool too. Just too big for
our apartment.
LAWRENCE
Do they sell it in pieces or is it fifty
five for both?
CECILY
I don't know. I'll ask.
They both look around for employees.
INT. APARTMENT, LAUNDRY ROOM - DAY
Todd and Lawrence set a trap, peanut-butter and a garbage
bag.
TODD
What I'd like to do with that pantry. Is
cut a big hole in the floor. And create
kind like an access to under the house.
Lawrence gives Todd a look that Todd's seen many times
from his father. One of disappointment and regret.
LAWRENCE
Yeah. Lets fix the heat in the house
first.
INT. APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - DAY
Todd leans over the heater, pressing the pilot switch
over and over. Each time the loud crack of the ignitor.
Lawrence watches the pilot light turn on. Then go off.
On then off.
LAWRENCE
I told you. It doesn't stay on.
TODD
No, it's just gotta be turned to 'On'.
LAWRENCE
It doesn't light when it's turned to
'On.' It has to be on 'Pilot' first.
Todd presses the ignitor several more times in
frustration.
TODD
Welp. I'm going to need to call someone
to come look at this. Until then. I
donno what to tell you.
INT. CO-OP, GROCERY STORE - DAY
Lawrence walks off, leaving Cecily to shop by herself.
He's cranky and he hasn't eaten. But everything around
him looks, well foreign. There's shit like Brewer's
Yeast and Soy Letchin in canisters with scoops.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I feel like I'm never going to eat. I
think I'm going to die right here in this
Food Co-Operative. Right in the bulk
foods section. I will lay down.
Cecily wraps up some organic bananas in the background.
LAWRENCE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
It's just like. God, sometimes I want to
fucking mess things up. I get so
frustrated at little shit. Like driving
or when we go check out in a few minutes
the cashier's not going to take my credit
card so I have to go get money out of the
machine and waste two bucks on ATM fees.
And I want to just kick a pony.
But I can't. Cecily says she'd get very
upset. People freaking out around her
makes her upset.
INT. APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON
Lawrence and Cecily sit in that one easy chair together.
They watch a movie.
CECILY
I gotta go to my acting class, baby.
LAWRENCE
I know. I'll go to the drugstore and
refill your medication when you're gone.
CECILY
Okay, thank you.
Cecily she goes to kiss Lawrence. He can't kiss her.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
Not being able to kiss your girlfriend
cause she's got a cold sore makes me
upset.
INT. DRUG STORE - NIGHT
Lawrence walks up to the Prescription counter. He waits
for fucking ever. He slowly grows more deranged looking.
Very "The Shinning."
LAWRENCE
Hi, I have a pick up for Cecily. C-E-C--
INT. GOODWILL - DAY
Lawrence and Cecily sit on the couch, still waiting.
LAWRENCE
You think that woman you asked is ever
coming back?
CECILY
Yeah, she went to go get another guy in
the back. Then he came out and went into
the back again.
LAWRENCE
(smiling)
Who the fuck are they asking, in the
back. Who's back there?
Cecily looks at him like, "Don't make a scene."
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
Whatever. Lets just go. They're never
coming back.
They stand up and just then two GOODWILL EMPLOYEES stroll
out of the back room talking and walk right past Cecily
and Lawrence. In slow motion. Like "The Right Stuff."
Lawrence follows them, eyes-wide, mouth gapping in
disbelief.
Just then, the very distinct and unmistakable SOUND of a
camel's back being broken.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
What the mother-fucking goddamn mother
fucking ass-fuck! Sonovabitching...
CECILY
Lawrence. Lets just go.
LAWRENCE
Are you fucking kidding me?!?! I don't
care. This place fucking sucks! This
whole fucking town is ridiculous! The
fucking stopping for pedestrians shit.
INT. CAR - DAY
A family walks through Lawrence's windshield, crossing a
3 lane road. He has to slow down, even though he's got
the green light. Mom and her stroller. Dad with
daughter on his shoulders.
LAWRENCE
Hey!! You motherfuckers!
He honks his horn. Cecily watches all this from the
passenger seat.
INT. GOODWILL - DAY
LAWRENCE
To the fucking special-ed landlord.
INT. APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - DAY
TODD
You know. I don't want you to really
think of me as the guy who fixes shit
when it breaks down.
LAWRENCE
I don't.
Todd coughs a laugh.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
So are you going to go pick us up a space
heater or is my girl going to have to
spend another night freezing under her
covers?!
INT. GOODWILL - DAY
LAWRENCE
No, you know what? This place. This
Goodwill is the origin point on the
Cartesian plane of why America's fucked
up. They are selling garbage, Cecily!
Cecily pulls him by the arm out of the store.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
(yells)
You hear me! You're buying other
people's garbage. It should be burned.
Using the employees as kindling. In a
giant oven called progress.
He knocks the plastic hangars off a a rack full of them.
Everyone in the store has stopped to stare.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Lawrence and Cecily walk in silence to the car.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
And that's where I started to slip. Lead
me to a bag of kittens I can smack
against a wall.
INT. CAR - NIGHT
Cecily drives the Camry up I-5 towards Seattle. She
checks her lip in the rearview mirror.
The car swerves a little. Her expression is horror. She
takes a breath. Steadies her driving.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
On one side of this relationship we have
you. You almost died 3 days ago. The
day I was to hear about the contest and
the landlord came over and stopped me
from doing the work I hate anyway. You
could've never made it home that day.
And you're on your way to your acting
class, no excuses.
(beat)
On the other side we have me. A selfish,
cry-baby, who loses it whenever he's
confronted with stupidity. Who sat in
his apartment that day and felt
completely and totally helpless while he
waited for you to come home.
INT. DRUG STORE - DAY
The PHARMACIST, ANGEL (39) brings Cecily's prescription
to the counter. Lawrence gets out his credit card.
He stops, bends down and looks through the orange plastic
of the prescription bottle. There's 2 pills inside.
LAWRENCE
There's only 2 pills in there.
ANGEL
That'll be nine-ninety-nine.
LAWRENCE
Why are there only 2 pills? There should
be more. Can you check?
ANGEL
Sure.
She goes back.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
Fuck your mom for not checking that the
back tires were bald!
Fuck your mom's friend for selling her a
car that could've killed her daughter.
Fuck those people who make voices
whenever they see a dog on the street.
Fuck old people who drive too slow or bus
drivers who break down. Fuck how I never
get to throw a ninja-star through a
robot's head or just straight up the side
of a building because it would ease the
stress of living in this modern world.
EXT. HIGHWAY JUNCTION - NIGHT
From above. The rain falls on Cecily's little red car.
Past the railing she ran into, is a 20 foot drop onto
another busy highway. She steps out unscathed. She
stands there. About to cry. Fishes in her bag for her
phone.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
And you could've gone over the edge that
day.
CECILY
Hello? Lawrence.
She starts to cry while she talks.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
It's weird to be told someone you care
about was just totalled her car but isn't
hurt. It's like you get scared that
she's going to die, after she says she's
okay. You have to worry in reverse.
INT. DRUG STORE - NIGHT
ANGEL brings up another bottle. Fuller this time. 10
pills. She rings it up.
ANGEL
That'll be twenty-one dollars.
LAWRENCE
(swiping his card)
Pricinvg structure on this stuff sure is
wacky.
ANGEL
Yep. Thanks for double checking that
prescription for me.
LAWRENCE
Hey if I don't do your job for you. Who
will?
She prints out the receipt.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
(smiling big)
Ya know?!
INT. APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Lawrence types on his laptop in silence. The pills are
sitting on the table. He checks his e-mail then returns
to his script-writing software. Types the following:
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
And I guess they would say all the
frustration of the last couple days is
because of the big thing that happened.
But sometimes I think it's just the small
things adding up and us making them seem
big and singular. Like a Golem, made of
unsolvable problems.
BING! Lawrence has an e-mail. He checks the "From" line.
"The American Gems Screenplay Competition."
LAWRENCE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And after all the frustration in the
waiting that this fucking contest has
caused me, I don't care if I win this
thing, or even if I place. I just don't
want my girlfriend to die on a highway
all by herself.
Lawrence checks the time. Closes his laptop.
FADE TO BLACK:
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