INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Lawrence sits on the floor. His video camera is set up.
He opens his laptop. Presses record on the camera.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
The day I was to find out about the
screenplay competition results, that was
Friday. I almost lost you on a Friday.
Our landlord came over in the morning.
The e-mail remains to be opened. It's from American Gems.
INT. APARTMENT - MORNING
Lawrence opens the door to TODD (33), a dumpy overweight,
waste of his mother's placenta.
TODD
Hey man. Brought some rat traps.
Lawrence walks off.
TODD (CONT'D)
Mind if I bring my dog in?
Todd's yippie little mongrel dog scuffles in under their
feet.
LAWRENCE
I can't believe I had to put pants on for
this.
TODD
I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. Was that
a 'no?'
LAWRENCE
Yeah, I don't care.
Lawrence returns to work. His work is making web pages.
Not writing.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
I have a problem with my girlfriend. She
never lets me freak out on people.
Sometimes people need freaking out on.
Like this guy. My landlord. He runs the
buildings his parents own.
Todd pops in.
TODD
Hey there Lawrence. Have you ever used a
rat trap? Do you know how to set them?
Lawrence gets up and walks into the kitchen.
INT. CAR - DAY
Cecily drives her cute little Honda Civic hatchback up a
crowded rainy highway 101.
She's got the wipers going and she's listening to her
iPod pumped through the car.
She rounds a bend, where the left 2 lanes of the highway
exit to another highway I-5.
Suddenly her back tires hydroplane. She slams on the
brakes. Her car slides into the left cement rail at full
speed.
The impact sends Cecily forward. Her seat belt neck
strap stops her from slamming into the wheel.
She only grunts, and grips the seat with her hands as the
car bounces off the rail and flies across 2 lanes of
traffic to the other railing.
Cars behind her slow down and swerve around her.
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Cecily and Lawrence sit up in bed talking.
CECILY
The cop asked me: Did everything slow
down? And it did. It was like I could
observe everything happening, but
couldn't react to it. And I thought to
myself. Am I going to die? Am I?
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
The Red Honda Civic slams into the other railing. This
one, metal.
The air bag deploys but never touches Cecily's face.
She's gripped tight with ever inch of her body to her
seat.
INT. CAR - DAY
The car has stopped.
Cecily breathes. Harder than she ever has in her life.
And the rain falls and the car relaxes off the bent
railing.
INT. HIGHWAY - DAY
Lawrence drives Cecily's old car. The Blue Toyota Camry
up from Oregon. Cecily sits in the passenger seat.
Lawrence gets a call. It's his boss at his job.
The phone blink low battery and then turns off before he
can answer it.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
What we have to do today, by Lawrence
Gewillickers. Go back to the impound
lot, get Cecily's stuff out of her car.
Shopping, grocery shopping as well as
look for a couch. I need a firewire
cable too--
We PAN to Cecily. Her Voice-over overlaps Lawrence's and
back and forth.
CECILY (V.O.)
I've got acting class tonight. I need to
eat something. Fred Meyer for some of
the groceries. The Co-op for the rest.
I need yogurt, and soy creamer and--
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
Someday we're going to pay that parking
ticket from three weeks ago. I wonder if
Cecily's really going to court for the
ticket she got for the accident. I'm
glad I took back that video before we
left for Oregon--
CECILY (V.O.)
I'm broke until tonight so Lawrence will
have to buy everything and I can pay him
back, I hope he's not too pissed. I'm
getting a cold sore. I really hate this.
Why can't I be normal and look normal for
the shoot this weekend--
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I wonder what my boss wants. Probably
going to fire me or make me work more. I
hope I can call him before I have to run
all those errands--
CECILY (V.O.)
I've got to get out of this being broke
and asking for money cycle. I'd almost
rather be broke all the time--
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I feel broke. All the time. And that
fucking screenplay festival will never, I
swear to God, never decide the top ten--
CECILY (V.O.)
I hope we can run those errands before I
have to leave--
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I hope I don't get a cold sore from her--
CECILY (V.O.)
Got why must everything be so--
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
--fucking difficult all the time?
The couple drives in silence.
INT. GOODWILL - DAY
Lawrence and Cecily look at the couches.
LAWRENCE
This is my idea of what hell must be
like.
CECILY
What? Goodwill?
LAWRENCE
It also reminds me acutely of my
childhood.
CECILY
Baby, shhh. Which one.
Lawrence looks at the couches. They're all crap.
Different levels of crap.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
We don't have a couch. We sit on one
easy chair together and watch TV.
Sometimes our hip bones or arms get in
the way. Body parts fall asleep.
Lawrence sits on a couch that looks like it's been in a
crack-house for a few years.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
I don't know. This one looks okay. I
mean, it's not very comfortable. And
we'd have to put a cover over it but.
He looks up. He's a lost dog. Cecily sees his face.
CECILY
It kind looks like it's been in a meth
house for a couple years. Okay, but this
sectional is cool too. Just too big for
our apartment.
LAWRENCE
Do they sell it in pieces or is it fifty
five for both?
CECILY
I don't know. I'll ask.
They both look around for employees.
INT. APARTMENT, LAUNDRY ROOM - DAY
Todd and Lawrence set a trap, peanut-butter and a garbage
bag.
TODD
What I'd like to do with that pantry. Is
cut a big hole in the floor. And create
kind like an access to under the house.
Lawrence gives Todd a look that Todd's seen many times
from his father. One of disappointment and regret.
LAWRENCE
Yeah. Lets fix the heat in the house
first.
INT. APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - DAY
Todd leans over the heater, pressing the pilot switch
over and over. Each time the loud crack of the ignitor.
Lawrence watches the pilot light turn on. Then go off.
On then off.
LAWRENCE
I told you. It doesn't stay on.
TODD
No, it's just gotta be turned to 'On'.
LAWRENCE
It doesn't light when it's turned to
'On.' It has to be on 'Pilot' first.
Todd presses the ignitor several more times in
frustration.
TODD
Welp. I'm going to need to call someone
to come look at this. Until then. I
donno what to tell you.
INT. CO-OP, GROCERY STORE - DAY
Lawrence walks off, leaving Cecily to shop by herself.
He's cranky and he hasn't eaten. But everything around
him looks, well foreign. There's shit like Brewer's
Yeast and Soy Letchin in canisters with scoops.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
I feel like I'm never going to eat. I
think I'm going to die right here in this
Food Co-Operative. Right in the bulk
foods section. I will lay down.
Cecily wraps up some organic bananas in the background.
LAWRENCE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
It's just like. God, sometimes I want to
fucking mess things up. I get so
frustrated at little shit. Like driving
or when we go check out in a few minutes
the cashier's not going to take my credit
card so I have to go get money out of the
machine and waste two bucks on ATM fees.
And I want to just kick a pony.
But I can't. Cecily says she'd get very
upset. People freaking out around her
makes her upset.
INT. APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON
Lawrence and Cecily sit in that one easy chair together.
They watch a movie.
CECILY
I gotta go to my acting class, baby.
LAWRENCE
I know. I'll go to the drugstore and
refill your medication when you're gone.
CECILY
Okay, thank you.
Cecily she goes to kiss Lawrence. He can't kiss her.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
Not being able to kiss your girlfriend
cause she's got a cold sore makes me
upset.
INT. DRUG STORE - NIGHT
Lawrence walks up to the Prescription counter. He waits
for fucking ever. He slowly grows more deranged looking.
Very "The Shinning."
LAWRENCE
Hi, I have a pick up for Cecily. C-E-C--
INT. GOODWILL - DAY
Lawrence and Cecily sit on the couch, still waiting.
LAWRENCE
You think that woman you asked is ever
coming back?
CECILY
Yeah, she went to go get another guy in
the back. Then he came out and went into
the back again.
LAWRENCE
(smiling)
Who the fuck are they asking, in the
back. Who's back there?
Cecily looks at him like, "Don't make a scene."
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
Whatever. Lets just go. They're never
coming back.
They stand up and just then two GOODWILL EMPLOYEES stroll
out of the back room talking and walk right past Cecily
and Lawrence. In slow motion. Like "The Right Stuff."
Lawrence follows them, eyes-wide, mouth gapping in
disbelief.
Just then, the very distinct and unmistakable SOUND of a
camel's back being broken.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
What the mother-fucking goddamn mother
fucking ass-fuck! Sonovabitching...
CECILY
Lawrence. Lets just go.
LAWRENCE
Are you fucking kidding me?!?! I don't
care. This place fucking sucks! This
whole fucking town is ridiculous! The
fucking stopping for pedestrians shit.
INT. CAR - DAY
A family walks through Lawrence's windshield, crossing a
3 lane road. He has to slow down, even though he's got
the green light. Mom and her stroller. Dad with
daughter on his shoulders.
LAWRENCE
Hey!! You motherfuckers!
He honks his horn. Cecily watches all this from the
passenger seat.
INT. GOODWILL - DAY
LAWRENCE
To the fucking special-ed landlord.
INT. APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - DAY
TODD
You know. I don't want you to really
think of me as the guy who fixes shit
when it breaks down.
LAWRENCE
I don't.
Todd coughs a laugh.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
So are you going to go pick us up a space
heater or is my girl going to have to
spend another night freezing under her
covers?!
INT. GOODWILL - DAY
LAWRENCE
No, you know what? This place. This
Goodwill is the origin point on the
Cartesian plane of why America's fucked
up. They are selling garbage, Cecily!
Cecily pulls him by the arm out of the store.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
(yells)
You hear me! You're buying other
people's garbage. It should be burned.
Using the employees as kindling. In a
giant oven called progress.
He knocks the plastic hangars off a a rack full of them.
Everyone in the store has stopped to stare.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Lawrence and Cecily walk in silence to the car.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
And that's where I started to slip. Lead
me to a bag of kittens I can smack
against a wall.
INT. CAR - NIGHT
Cecily drives the Camry up I-5 towards Seattle. She
checks her lip in the rearview mirror.
The car swerves a little. Her expression is horror. She
takes a breath. Steadies her driving.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
On one side of this relationship we have
you. You almost died 3 days ago. The
day I was to hear about the contest and
the landlord came over and stopped me
from doing the work I hate anyway. You
could've never made it home that day.
And you're on your way to your acting
class, no excuses.
(beat)
On the other side we have me. A selfish,
cry-baby, who loses it whenever he's
confronted with stupidity. Who sat in
his apartment that day and felt
completely and totally helpless while he
waited for you to come home.
INT. DRUG STORE - DAY
The PHARMACIST, ANGEL (39) brings Cecily's prescription
to the counter. Lawrence gets out his credit card.
He stops, bends down and looks through the orange plastic
of the prescription bottle. There's 2 pills inside.
LAWRENCE
There's only 2 pills in there.
ANGEL
That'll be nine-ninety-nine.
LAWRENCE
Why are there only 2 pills? There should
be more. Can you check?
ANGEL
Sure.
She goes back.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
Fuck your mom for not checking that the
back tires were bald!
Fuck your mom's friend for selling her a
car that could've killed her daughter.
Fuck those people who make voices
whenever they see a dog on the street.
Fuck old people who drive too slow or bus
drivers who break down. Fuck how I never
get to throw a ninja-star through a
robot's head or just straight up the side
of a building because it would ease the
stress of living in this modern world.
EXT. HIGHWAY JUNCTION - NIGHT
From above. The rain falls on Cecily's little red car.
Past the railing she ran into, is a 20 foot drop onto
another busy highway. She steps out unscathed. She
stands there. About to cry. Fishes in her bag for her
phone.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
And you could've gone over the edge that
day.
CECILY
Hello? Lawrence.
She starts to cry while she talks.
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
It's weird to be told someone you care
about was just totalled her car but isn't
hurt. It's like you get scared that
she's going to die, after she says she's
okay. You have to worry in reverse.
INT. DRUG STORE - NIGHT
ANGEL brings up another bottle. Fuller this time. 10
pills. She rings it up.
ANGEL
That'll be twenty-one dollars.
LAWRENCE
(swiping his card)
Pricinvg structure on this stuff sure is
wacky.
ANGEL
Yep. Thanks for double checking that
prescription for me.
LAWRENCE
Hey if I don't do your job for you. Who
will?
She prints out the receipt.
LAWRENCE (CONT'D)
(smiling big)
Ya know?!
INT. APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Lawrence types on his laptop in silence. The pills are
sitting on the table. He checks his e-mail then returns
to his script-writing software. Types the following:
LAWRENCE (V.O.)
And I guess they would say all the
frustration of the last couple days is
because of the big thing that happened.
But sometimes I think it's just the small
things adding up and us making them seem
big and singular. Like a Golem, made of
unsolvable problems.
BING! Lawrence has an e-mail. He checks the "From" line.
"The American Gems Screenplay Competition."
LAWRENCE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And after all the frustration in the
waiting that this fucking contest has
caused me, I don't care if I win this
thing, or even if I place. I just don't
want my girlfriend to die on a highway
all by herself.
Lawrence checks the time. Closes his laptop.
FADE TO BLACK:
Monday, October 09, 2006
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